today we explore certain new and totally hilarious aspects of life...

#1. bushisms

what are bushisms? well, they are actually statements (mangled to a large extent) made by a US president we know as mr. bush. without further ado, let us put our hands together to welcome our latest line-up of bushisms, however old they are.

enjoy.

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

“There’s an old…saying in Tennessee…I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee that says Fool me once…(3 second pause)… Shame on…(4 second pause)…Shame on you….(6 second pause)…Fool me…Can’t get fooled again.” –George W. Bush to Nashville, Tennessee audience, Sept. 17, 2002, MSNBC-TV –Politex, Sept. 17, 2002, 10 PM

“There’s no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world’s worst weapons.” –George W. Bush, South Bend, Indiana, Sept. 5, 2002.

“Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.” —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

“We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease.” —Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001

“We both use Colgate toothpaste.” —after a reporter asked what he had in common with British Prime Minister Tony Blair, Camp David, Md., Feb. 23, 2001

“I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.” —Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001

“Do you have blacks, too?” —to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001

#2. sportspeople

yeah they sure are respected by many but for what reasons? sports? or brains? check this out...

“Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.”-Pedro Guerrero, on sportswriters

“Sure. I’m proud to be an American.”-Cincinnati Reds rookie pitcher Steve Foster, asked by a Canadian customs agent if he had anything to declare.

"I don’t care what the tape says. I didn’t say it.”-Football coach Ray Malavasi

"Most of my clichés aren’t original.”-Chuck Knox, when he coached the Rams.

“Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.”-Charles Shackleford of the NCSU basketball team

“Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.”-Doug Collins

“I’ve won at every level, except college and pro.”-Shaquille O’Neal, on his lack of championships.

“Are you any relation to your brother Marv?”-Basketball player Leon Wood to announcer Steve Albert

“I don’t want to shoot my mouth in my foot, but those are games we can win.”-Sherman Douglas

“You can sum up this sport in two words: You never know.”-Lou Duva, boxing trainer

“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father”-Greg Norman

“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.” - Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.” - Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks.

“Raise the urinals.”-Darrel Chaney on how management could keep the Braves on their toes

“I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.”-Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf

“It’s permanent, for now.”-Cincinnati Red Roberto Kelly, announcing his new name would be “Bobby.”

“There is one word in America that says it all, and that word is, ‘You never know.’”-Pitcher Joaquin Andujar

LOL, ROFL, LMAO, like totally...

next post: other nonsense

please be emotionally sensitive

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What I did during the holidays

Monday-
Instead of going for James'(J) birthday suit, sorry, I mean BP(Birthday Party), I went to visit Gay World Hotel(GWH) which rendered me invulnerable to the constant tests of masculinity which many subjected to through the duration of the Happy Hours(HH).

The Vigorous Nocturnal Activity(VNA) was quite okay Luhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh(L), but our whole group damn stone, so it wasn't very interesting.

"My name is Biquan(biq) and I have a Six-Pack(SP)."-biq, during the self introduction.

Tuesday-
GWH again. Was less boring cause we were less stone, but otherwise, the same.

"There was once, when I went out with my Boyfriend(B), then he was damn sad because he didn't have a SP. So I told him, don't worry lah, you quite Hunky(H) what. And he told me, not as H as you biq. At that moment, I felt powerful."-biq, a moment which made you feel powerful.

After that went for chem, in which Vertuz(Vetuz)(V) emo-ed because biq was making hell lot of noise. Sian his last lesson biq also emo with him....(.)(.)

Wednesday-
Training. Unexpectedly slack. Everybody went there expecting the ferocious anal conditioning to proceed but biq said that we were just gonna be going through some routines so we slacked the whole way through, with most of the noobs(ie. biq) sitting on the vibrator machine when we were horny and wanted to exercise our ten-inch anuses.

After that, left for j8 for lunch, then went to the library to check on my GUYS4MEN.COM account. However, I lactated like a cow and was milked by everyone. Insert penis here--->D:

Then when we were returning to GWH. KIDDY RIDE TIME. SEE MARK’S ORIGINAL VIDEO ON YOUTUBE(and not biq’s rip-off on his blog) FOR VISUAL DESCRIPTION.

Neopets GM event, which George Bush(GB) turned up for, and he owned biq. Nuff said.

Thursday
Room 69 in GWH, which i felt was quite a waste of money. In the end, they gave us a Condom(C), which can only work if you buy your own Cock Clips(CC) and battery, and a phallic object which White, Sticky Liquid(WSL) came out off after a few rubs. wtf. And we had to travel to GWH for that mind you.

Friday
The only free day, which I spent having Vicious Diarrhea(VD)(Venereal Disease) and playing with my 3-inch Dick(D).

6 days and 3 inches. MAN biq SUCKS COCKS.

Saturday-
went for Glory Hole(GH) duty at 530, in which i earned 20 DOLLARS for GH-ing. thankyou guys.

Thats about what I did for my holiay. What holiday? (Join the trend)(JTT)

And copy everyone else like biq does.

Fixed the picture for you.

i think i have a serious wikiobsession.

like, when you go wikipedia searching for physics force diagrams, how the hell do you end up reading about the death of the universe, energy entropy, user vandalism, autism, doomsday, and Osama?

oh, and i forgot : this too.

http://www.everytopicintheuniverseexceptchickens.com/

You absolutely have to check this out ; this is the real deal for the future of knowledge.

Wikipedia Chicken attacked
By Andrew Orlowski (andrew.orlowski@theregister.co.uk)
Published Thursday 9th November 2006 16:20 GMT

A reprehensible, juvenile prank is diverting valuable time from cultivating "the future of human knowledge - Wikipedia.

Ryan North says he wants to save the project by focusing vandals' energy on just one topic: chickens. And it's causing quite a hen flap.

"Screw Britannica and their 2.92 errors per article. Together we can build Wikipedia 2.0: the World's Best Encyclopedia, covering every topic in the universe, except chickens," says Ryan on his page.(http://www.everytopicintheuniverseexceptchickens.com/).

Ryan reasons that the damage will be minimal because the world knows everything it needs to about chickens already. The boundaries of rooster epistemology have not only been discovered, but mapped, and then endlessly trodden and retrodden by Dubarry wellies.

"Does an encyclopedia really need an article about nature's tastiest birds? You know the answer is 'no it most certainly does not'", he says.
Whereas if you need to find lists of Star Trek characters, 80s porn stars, and every episode of Friends - then there's only once place to go.

In Ryan's idea there's a compelling piece of logic. Wikipedia is vandalised around 20 times a minute, but perhaps we can save it - by rendering it fit only for trivia. And in that goal, Ryan's not alone: he already has an army of Wikipedia administrators helping him out. You might even call this the dominant ideology of the project.
So was he a contributor, we wondered?
"I refuse to answer the second question of whether I am now or have ever been a Wikipedian on the grounds that it may incriminate me," he told us.

Earlier this year, Stephen Colbert satirised the notion that you could vote for the truth by inviting viewers to insert spurious facts into an entry about elephants. Viewers responded in their hundreds, forcing administrators to "lock down" the article - leaving the world bereft of up-to-the-second developments on the pachyderm front for several days.

Wikipedia administrators hailed the exercise as a success. ®

in the end, wikipedia had to block edits to their chicken entry.

LOL

coming up next: how to end the world.