generally, people dont commit suicide. why? its wrong, its immoral, youre not respecting your life blablablabla. however, in dire circumstances, people do commit suicide. in this case, then, suicide is perfectly justifiable and ok.

the circumstances include...

If you are, or are in any way related to, George W. Bush, John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, Jack Thompson, Michael Jackson, Ann Coulter or any other current, past, or future politician and/or lawyer.
Upon the death of a close family member, friend or pop idol.
If you masturbate too much or too little.
If you masturbate at all.
Before, during or after divorce.
If you downloaded the Crazyfrog
If you smiled on the way out of Armageddon
If you are emo
If you are a budding young musician or comedian with a string of early successes
If seppuku is agreed upon before the Counter-Strike match and you lose.
If Steve Ballmer vows to fucking bury you.
You are a character in a Shakespearean play.
At the end of a mass murder spree.
When captured by enemy agents who will do anything to get the location of the microfilm.
On trial for crimes against humanity.
Before turning into a zombie.
If your article appears on Uncyclopedia:Pages for deletion. You have shamed Uncyclopedia.
If your high school boyfriend/girlfriend or both of them dumps you.
If you have been writing to a white rapper constantly, without receiving a reply.
If you are captured by an evil organization that wishes to know the location of the rebel base. Failure to do so also is also considered justified.
If you listen to RnB that is not from the 80's.
If you have seen a Uwe Boll film.
If you want to see "whats on the other side"
If you are short
If you like the television show "Laguna Beach"
If you're a 40 year old AIDs infested whore
If you believe the Internets is a series of tubes.
If you could pass for a member of The Rolling Stones.
If Maddox ridiculed your hate mail, dipshit
If you are bald
If Brooke Astor passes you a note saying she wants to "get medieval on your ass, dahling."
If you have dishonoured your family.
If you've watched one full episode of Sex and the City
If you have or thought about listening to the band Green Day
If you enjoy Adam Sandler movies
If you believe in Unicorns
If you have broken your wrist or ankle
If your pet seagull flew away without saying goodbye
If your intelligence is greater than 95% of the population
If you used to be a trainspotter
If you support Southampton football team
If you hate everyone
If you have masturbated over Paris Hilton
If your name is Drew Peacock.
If you've watched the movie "The Passion Of The Christ".
If the cool kids do it.
If your penis is the size of your finger nail
If your mom calls you honeysugarcake
If you sleep in the same bed as your mom does
If your gamerscore is below 100 after one year
If your gamerscore is above 5000 after one day
If you believe in santa claus while you're above 16
If you speak french
If you have saved hundreds on your car insurance by switching to Geico.
If you are religous.
If you are not religous.

or if youre a black in japan.

foreword:
what follows below is for the pure, unadulterated, sole, pure purpose of making sure i dont end up reading apologies in morning assembly. Pregnant mothers, prefects, those under 21, prefects, and those with heart defects ( and prefects) are advised not to read on.
lol

before you start to flame the tagboard up, take a chewpew- its not about our dear friend biquan.
as a matter of fact, he's a nice guy (though he probably hates our blog by now lol)
you just have to pretend you cant hear him telling you to
tuck in your shirt
because
derek, derek, derek darling, how can you expect to have an iron ricebowl or a solid future if you cannot spell?

if you’re not good enough, life will kick you in the balls. that’s just how things go. there’s no point in lambasting the government for making our society one that is, i quote, “far too survival of fittest”. it’s the same everywhere. yes discrimination exists, and it is sad, but most of the time if people would prefer hiring other people over you, it’s because they’re better. it’s so sad when people like old derek lament the kind of world that singapore will be if we make it so uncertain. go be friggin communist, if uncertainty of success offends you so much - you will certainly be poor and miserable. unless you are an arm-twisting commie bully, which, given your whiny middle-class undereducated penchant, i doubt.

then again, it’s easy for me to say. my future isn’t certain but i guess right now it’s a lot brighter than most people’s. derek will read this and brand me as an 18-year old elite, one of the sinners who will inherit the country and run his stock to the gutter. go ahead. the world is about winners and losers. it’s only sad when people who could be winners are marginalised and oppressed. is dear derek starving? has dear derek been denied an education? has dear derek been forced into child prostitution? has dear derek had his clan massacred by the government?

i should think not. dear derek is one of many wretched, undermotivated, overassuming leeches in our country, and in this world. one of those who would prefer to be unemployed and wax lyrical about how his myriad talents are being abandoned for the foreigner’s, instead of earning a decent, stable living as a sales assistant. it’s not even about being a road sweeper. these shitbags don’t want anything without “manager” and a name card.

please, get out of my elite uncaring face.

wait, where was i again?
oh.
the reason why ripb makes me so emo is
oh check this out man : http://www.ri.sch.edu.sg/ripb/vision.htm
(lol tagboard quote)---> Paul Tern: RIPB rox, all you commoners suck
no thats obviously not importantpaulternturnpaulternimpotent, but anyway:

A Scene At The Astroturf:
Prefect #1: oi, you there, stop playing in uniform
Miscreant Playing Soccer In Uniform #1: orh okay okay prefect relax-
Prefect #1: what relax! you DON'T relax. you TOUCH that BALL one more time and i am going to book and report you. GET IT? GO AHEAD. TOUCH THAT BALL AGAIN? HUH? GO AHEAD MAN. MAKE ME REPORT YOU TO DETENTION. TOUCH THAT BALL AGAIN.
Miscreant Playing Soccer In Uniform #1: (pissing in pants) okay i wont relax-
P #1: NOW LICK MY FOOT MAN.
MPSIC #1: *lick lick suck suck*

now of course, this is a completely fictional (Peers single him out as possibly the most capable nominee from sec 1. Seniors strongly recommend him for his strong will and leadership skills. Similar to *****, he has received mass recommendation from batchmates as well as seniors, based on merit.) occurence.

lol in other words,
dont book me, im only a small fragile guy.

(chill biq, this isnt a make-fun-of-biquan-post.)

where are the loves

Peoples killing peoples dying

Children hurtings you hears them cryings

Can yous practice whats yous preach

Woulds you turns these others cheeks

Fathers fathers fathers helps us

Send somes guidance from aboves

Cause peoples gots me got mes questionings

Wheres is thes loves?

today i feel very emo.

i feel emo because the world is becoming a terrible place.

Why is the world becoming a terrible place?

#1:

#2:

#3:

because people like clay aiken are laying waste to intellectual property rights.

#4: