A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked if the lawyer could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer told him that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?

Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?

It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?

No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relations like?

All my relations still in Poland.

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?

We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?

No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?

No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?

She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?

I gots proof.

What kind of proof?

She going to poison me. She buys a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover."

LAUGH.

NOT ZILIAN LA. best pic after he turned fat lol

MINGJIE: STUDENT BY DAY, POWERPUFF GIRL AND ROCK GODDESS BY NIGHT.

handsome - a word that can change our lives for the better or perhaps ruin it completely. we all want to be handsome, but only a select few have the talent to be handsome. this leads us to the million-dollar question: who determines who is handsome and who is not?

the problem with us men is, we all want to be handsome so much that we call ourselves handsome and in that state of mind, we cheat ourselves by posting half-naked, "before i [we] was [were] fat" pictures of ourselves on the net for all to see. no offence to anyone out there who has committed the heinous act of cheating your soul ever before. sure, we know that it is not ZILIAN LA but nevertheless, you could be convicted under the penal code US4RK... so whatever is in this post would be a GENTLE REMINDER to everyone out there:

1. we are all handsome. in heart, at least.

2. we, as in us (4 of us) are handsome. thanks.

3. people who post HALF NAKED PICTURES OF SQUARES on FRIENDSTER are NOT NOT NOT x 6 x 10^23 (imasteredmols) handsome AT ALL

4. we don't do that

as always, i like to show everyone out there whats handsome and whats not, so...

TIPS TO BE HANDSOME

1. wear a suit - this makes you look smart (even if youre not...)

2. red underwears never fail to impress

just remember to wear a superman belt; red cloaks are optional.

3. some traditional costumes might work wonders...

dont forget some accessories to go with the event (angbaos for CNY, half-naked torsos of m*ingj*e for halloween)

A LITTLE TRIVIA...

check this out...

that was abit gross to upload, but nvm.

so kids, is he HANDSOME?

ANSWER: no, duh (HIGHLIGHT TO SEE ANSWER)

WHY NOT?: he is mingjie (HIGHLIGHT AGAIN TO SEE ANSWER)

so, how do we make him handsome?

THE CONFESSION

okay readers, we have an important confession to make... we're more than just your everyday schoolkids. we're your everyday superheroes striving hard to save the world from deadly monsters, upcoming EOYs and half-naked torsos (in ascending order according to scariness). the last time we checked, there was a terror stalking little kids on friendster... a terror... never seen before by err friendster... a terror... we call... M*NGJ*E (he-who-must-not-be-named-for-he-is-too-handsome-and-not-zilian-la).

in order to save the world, we have been tasked with the imposssible job of making mingjie handsome (for once). amazingly, we have completed the job. here is the end product...

the world is saved, thanks to us.

NOTE: as you can see, best way to make he-who-must-not-be-named-for-he-is-too-handsome-and-not-zilian-la handsome is to make him barely recognisable (what's recognisable is the background).

IN CONCLUSION

so, how do we tell if someone is handsome or not?





if he looks like this...

no joke, david rly is handsome.

better than M*NGJ*E, at least.

cheers (:

ALRIGHT I DECLARE IT RETARDED MEME DAY GO.

1) Put your playlist on random.
2) Type out the first line of the first 20 songs you hit. DON’T CHEAT EVEN IF THE SONG IS EMBARRASSING YOU HAVE TO USE IT.
3) Strike it out once people have guessed
4) Try not to google.

On a train to Neverland (MICHAEL JACKSON D:)

2)Far away (no, not nickelback)
This ship is taking me far away

Last time I checked, Canon Rock didn't have lyrics.

4) I glitrende solskin

5) Don't think me unkind

6) Invisible like all the reasons

7) Perfect by nature

8) Trading back and forth our voice

9) The turn of the century, that's turning out wrong.

10) Nothing's ever changed, you still turn away

11) When darkness will reign and blind us all

12) We are not the sons of God

13) When I disappear do you fear for the sister I took

14) Time kills, go ask Jesus

15) I could stay awake just to hear you breathing

16) In the end of time, in times of revelation

17) Decadence becomes me

18) Time, it took the most of me

19) All is cold and frozen.

20) Fortunes and Hades are the last hope, swallow

THIS LIST IS IN NO WAY REPRESENTATIVE OF MY MUSICAL TASTES WHATSOEVER.