as promised,

#1. the meaning of life

what exactly is the meaning of life? what exactly are we all living in this world for? what is our objectives? what do we rly want to achieve with our lives? what happens after life?

interestingly, we have all the answers to your questions, except the last one.

we live everyday (duh) for various objectives: work, sex, gunbound, maplestory, more sex, and various other activities. but all these activities do have a link. what link, thy asketh? we are happy when we do these activities (to a fairly large extent) and when we are happy, we LOL.

yes, we live to LOL.

or simply lol.

contrary to my previous post in discouraging people from LOLing and to use ROFL or LMAO instead, i sincerely apologise to everyone out there who has heeded my advice and to begin LOLing once again.

LOL is, essentially, what makes us human.

why? quoting urbandictionary...

- now, it is overused to the point where nobody laughs out loud when they say it. in fact, they probably don't even give a shit about what you just wrote. More accurately, the acronym "lol" should be redefined as "Lack of laughter." -

how true, but what has this got to do with our life?

lol has become so infused with our daily lives that it now has no meaning anymore. this shows that we live to lol. and by living to lol, we have found our meaning of life.

wasn't it simple?

take a look at these examples of "how to apply lol in daily life"

Ugly Boy: Hi!
Hot Girl: Lol @ yr face!

Statement: Sorry if I'm not too cheery, my best friend just died yesterday.
Worthless Reply: lol

AiMDuMaSs1:I ripped a fart today in school
aImdUmAsS2:lol

Person 1: I like to pick my nose and then massage the boogers on my anal orifice
Person 2: lol

Person: Man, my grandma died today. I'm totally bummed.
Me: lol

Person: Today was boring.
*10 minutes later*
Me: Lol.

A: I'm probably gonna kill myself tonight...
B: lol

Person 1: my cat just farted
Person 2: lol

fenderbender77:hi
fag890:lol
fenderbender77:...?how was your day?
fag890:lol, good
fenderbender77:ok...well I just found out that I have herpes...and...Jenny was hit by a car, also the other day, I found out that I had type 4 liver cancer too.
fag890:lol

and in sync with the one of the previous posts...

manwhore:YOUR MOM!
fenderbender88:lol..

talk about worthless conversations... LOL

Hong Kong Bus Uncle with English and Mandarin Subtitles

and speaking about mother insults:

shakespeare used them too!
In Timon Of Athens, Act 1 Scene 1 : (some cranky no standard play)

Painter: "Y'are a dog."
Apemantus: "Thy mother's of my generation. What's she, if I be a dog?"

its a pity he never used it in his merchant of venices and stuff but in some obscure crap we dont even get to to study in school.

Think of the Exciting Possibilities: a lesson on yo mama swearwords.

Raffles Institution- Nurturing the Thinker, Leader, and Pioneer.

anyway, back to the topic:

Use as a retort

"Your mom" is also sometimes used as a sarcastic retort to either a mild criticism or even an innocuous statement. This often results in a sexual innuendo, as in the following example:


Speaker 1: What are you doing?
Speaker 2: Your mom.

The classic "Your Momma" joke follows this guideline: Your momma is so (blank) she (blank), in which the first blank is substituted for fat, stupid, etc., and the second is an example of the first blank.

Example 1: Yo momma is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball.

The next time someone tells you to keep quiet on the bus, here's how to (really) make him regret it.

The Bus Uncle
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ( sorry guys, but i cant think of anything original to blog )

"The Bus Uncle" is a Cantonese video clip of an argument between two men aboard a bus in Hong Kong on April 27, 2006. While the older man, who came to be nicknamed the Bus Uncle, scolded the person behind him, a nearby passenger used his camera phone to record the entire incident to provide evidence for the police in the event of a fight. The resulting six-minute video[1] was uploaded to the HK Golden Forum, YouTube, and Google Video.

The clip became YouTube's most viewed video in May 2006, attracting viewers with its rhetorical outbursts and copious use of profanity by the older man, receiving 1.7 million hits in the first 3 weeks of that month.

The video became a cultural sensation in Hong Kong, inspiring vigorous debate and discussion on lifestyle, etiquette, civic awareness and media ethics within the city, eventually attracting the attention of the media around the world.

Video

Incident

The video depicts the incident that took place on the upper deck of a double decker Kowloon Motor Bus, Route no. 68X en route to Yuen Long, Hong Kong at approximately 11:00 p.m. on April 27, 2006. It began when a young bespectacled male passenger tapped the shoulder of a middle-aged man in front of him, asking the man to lower his voice while on his mobile phone. The man in front turned around and reacted strongly with a rant about being unnecessarily provoked under stress:

"Roger: Hey, don't call me "boss". For the sake of fairness, we don't know each other. Why did you have to do that? (faster tone) Why did you have to do that? Look, everyone in society suffers from stress. Now that you have done something very unfair, should I have a word with you?"

The younger man, who seldom talked back, expressed a desire to end the discussion. However, the middle-aged man insisted that the matter was not settled and requested an apology:


"Elvis: The matter is settled, it's that simple.
Roger: It isn't settled.
Elvis: It's settled.
Roger: (louder) It isn't settled!
Elvis: It's settled.
Roger: (yelling very loudly) It isn't settled!!! We both have to settle this right now!"

The younger man apologised, reluctantly shook hands, and also warned the older man regarding the use of mother insults. This last warning resulted in more profanities from the older man:

( your mother so fat)

"Roger: If it's been settled, why did you warn me? I'm heavily stressed. I wanted to shake hands. You settle... you said that the matter is settled and now you warn me? What's the point, pal? This is pointless for both of us, is that right? Now that we've shaken hands...

Elvis: Let me tell you, this matter is between the two of us. Don't drag others into it.

Roger: If you have to drag people into it, you do so. If you enjoy fucking, you fuck; if I enjoy fucking, I fuck. Fucking other people is harmless. Fuck, fuck and fuck! Should I punch you twice instead? Right? When it's been settled, it's settled. Don't warn me. Why did you warn me? I'm not half scared even if you do! I'm extremely stressed, don't you know that? Now, do you understand? You shouldn't warn me! It's settled, you get the point? If you warn me, it means the matter isn't settled! We should forget about this, having shaken hands. OK?


Elvis: All right, I don't want to talk to you any more."

Apparently, Elvis' patience throughout the ordeal was inspired by tai qi quan, a Chinese martial art characterized by slow movements, specialized breathing techniques and emotional internalization.

Later, Roger visited Ho's office on May 31, 2006 in Mong Kok to apologise for the dispute and to initiate a business proposal for the duo to hold a "Bus Uncle Rave Party".

He was quickly rejected and expelled by Ho, who expressed outrage towards the journalists who arranged the meeting and threatened legal action against the press.

fuck, fuck, Fuck, and fuck.

We thought we knew how to talk cock and be retarded. Then...

Uncyclopedia: William Hung
“You can't sing, you can't dance ...so what do you want me to say, you little fucking retard?”


~ Simon Cowell


Best known in for his jacked-up grill and plunging American television into further awe-inspiring depths of stupidity, William Hung moved to California from Hong Kong in hopes of graduating high school. After seven years in the eleventh grade, Hung was awarded a completion of high school certificate, which from a few feet away, looks very much like a high school diploma. Hung proceeded to attend classes at UC Berkeley, until security escorted him off campus


Stardom
Slyly using his name to gain an advantage, William Hung pursued a future in front of cameras by trying out as talent for adult movies. However, casting had issues with Hung's rampant unfamiliarity with sex and ridiculously tiny package. Hung ended up as a cameraman on adult movies, but eventually ruined every shot he worked on, as he would break into "She Bangs" every time a scene would start shooting.

His luck changed after winning a local singing talent contest, held in a living room within his house where he was the only contestant and also served as judge. Inspired, Hung ended up singing at local town meetings and events. Although Hung has always claimed he was asked to perform at these functions, the grand majority of the time he was actually asked to stop, stop ... please fucking stop.
The tide finally turned when the third season of American Idol set up in San Francisco, September of 2003. Although the audition was naturally atrocious, much of what happened next never aired on television. Insiders close to the show that season reveal judge Simon Cowell vomited while Hung sang and danced like a little idiot. Then, to the surprise of many, Cowell lunged at Hung, physically attacking him while still vomiting. Hung continued to sing while the crew, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul pried Cowell off. After calming down and cleaning up, the judges sat down and gave their thoughts. Cowell called Hung a "dick" and a "little fucking retard". Jackson and Abdul were slightly less abrasive. "You have a great attitude", chirped Abdul, "but you're all fucked up". "Good luck to you, you need to be locked up somewhere", said Jackson.

Success
Upon the growing Cult of Hung, William Hung's dreams materialized when he cut his first album. Titled "Inspiration", the disc featured various cover songs, most notably Ricky Martin's "She Bangs", "Shake Your Bon Bon" and "I'm Totally Gay". In addition, the following songs were also covered:

"YMCA" (o.a.: Village People)
"Rocket Man" (o.a.: Elton John)
"I Believe I Can Fly" (o.a.: R. Kelly)
"WAH WAH WAH" (o.a.: Unknown)
"Circle of Life" (o.a.: Elton John)
Wu Tang Clan Ain't Nuttin' to Fuck Wid' (o.a.: Wu Tang Clan)
She Bangs (Elvis)
Some song no one cares about (Nirvana)
Debuting on the Billboard Top 200 charts at #34, the disc sold over 35,000 units during its first week. This then prompted modern biblical scholars to possibly including this as an additional sign of the Apocalypse.

Failure
Hung would go on to release several more albums, whose titles played on Hung's last name. The last of the Hung series cds stirred controversy and eventually marked the end to Hung's storied career. Walmart refused to carry "Hung Like a Horse" due to cover art which revealed a naked Hung wearing a giant prosthetic penis between his legs. The record label tried to appease the retail giant by changing the cover art to an image Hung initially selected. However, the new cover art, depicting Hung with the giant prosthetic penis in his mouth, was deemed "even more vulgar", according to a Walmart spokesperson.

In hopes to revive his career, Hung has finished participation on a new celebrity reality VH1 show called "Freaks & 'Tards", where a reportedly underwear-clad and drunken Hung curses at other house guests and wields a shank. The show is set to air next summer.

Hung announced in April 2007 that he was recently diagnosed with Numb Nuts, and is receiving treatment at the Neverland Ranch.

Discography
Inspiration
Hung for the Holidays
'Hung'ry
Hung Over
Hung Like a Horse
ARRR ARRR OH
Hung Over Re-mastered re-rease
Fucking Little Retard's Greatest Hits
[edit] Bootlegs & Compilations
'The Sympathy of Idiots Made Me Somewhat Not Successful' compilation
'I'm Not Hung, I'm Another Mistake of God' bootleg (songs were leaked at birth)

as part of the raffles programme which provides a conducive environment for learning, we hereby bring you two topics which one ACTUALLY can relate to our daily lives - much unlike the over-hyped redox, logarithms, persuasive, historical moments (note the combo of history and physics here) nonsense that we learn in school.

yes, this blog > school. as always...

#1. the magic number

what, you might ask, is the magic number? why does it make the number so magical? hang on, we're about to answer that.

take a look at this...

isn't that magic enough? i mean like... WOW... totally... the font... the number... the >>> ALVAN <<<

as we all know, 7 is a number following 6 (six, pronounced see-eeks) and preceding 8 (eight, pronounced ayy-eet). it is a HAPPY NUMBER, meaning that when you square it, and square the 2 numbers of the squared term, and by repeating the process, you get the number 1. for example...

7^2 = 49
4^2 + 9^2 = 97
9^2 + 7^2 = 130
1^2 + 3^2 + 0^2 = 10
1^2 + 0^2 = 1

get it? and skipping the numerous mathematical and other nonsensical properties which can be found here... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven, we now bring you the answer to the question: WHAT makes seven magic?

look at the facts as stated below... seven is:

1. the number of spots on a ladybug
2. the number of virtues, opposing the same number of deadly sins
3. the number of main islands on the mythological Atlantis

4. the number several famous bands have in their names -song, members, etc. (eg. avenged SEVENfold)
5. regarded as a magic number in harry potter's world
6. the month harry potter is born in (july, for the retarded)
7. <<< SEVEN!!!
8. the number of rings the dwarves in lord of the rings were given
9. naruto's team number in Naruto (what else?)
10. number of pirates in shichibukai of ONE PIECE <<< COOL STUFF
11. number of wonders in the world (discounting me)
12. a common winning line in slot machines (7-7-7)
13. the jersey number of famous players like c.ronaldo, pires, whoever
14. <<< SEVEN TIMES TWO
last but definitely not least...
15. the jersey number of alvan!!!!!!!111111111111111!!!!!!!eleven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111eleventy-one!!!!!!

so, why is seven magical?

someone tell me.

#2. 10 reasons not to say LOL

actually just one.

what is LOL? its a capitalised form of the term lol. what is lol? it basically means "laugh out loud", "lots of luck" or less commonly, "lick our lollipops". it is commonly used on the internet, with people proclaiming lol, or LOL at the slightest things imaginable.

the term lol has paved the way for the CREATIVE INVENTIONS of several other synonyms of the term. lawl, LAWL, \o\, /o/, \o/, o, el-oh-el are amongst some of such inventions. it has also led to gaytards saying lol out loud in real life... imagine this..

B1: yoh dude, wutz up?
B2: the sky, lawl

or this...

B1: yoh dude, wutz up?
B2: your mother, el-oh-el

BUT recently, science has proven that "lol" can cause deaths. here's why...

heard of aibohphobias? well basically, they're people who are afraid of palindromes (yes, palindromes) such as hmm... noon, mom, 8008, and yes, LOL.

can you bear the ache of your heart knowing that a seemingly harmless term you have said on chatrooms or in real life has actually caused a death? no, you can't. imagine this on a chatroom, or msn...

dude#1: hey dude#2, hw r u?
dude#2: i'm fine, thanks
dude#1: hey, glad to know tat
dude#2: AAAAH STOP IT!
dude#1: huh?
dude#2: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
dude #1: lol, stop fooling me
dude#2: imma slit my wrists now, be back later

or this... in real life...

dude #1: Hey, what's your name?
dude #2: Bob.
dude #1: AAAAAAAAAAH! *Runs and hides behind sofa*
bob: Wow.
dude #1: AAAAAAAAAAH! *Runs away and falls down stairs*

i'll cite my sources... http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=aibohphobia&defid=1158307

and thats why we should never ever use LOL from now on.

LOL

moral of lesson: stay away from LOL, use ROFL or LMAO instead!

ROFL

ain't this more fun than school?

check out what I found: a really kinky commercial, some ancient video taken in sec2, and two original home made R21 movies.

Starring Kwong "Come In" James, Tay "Waiter" Alvan, and some fat slob.
oh, and biquan in a kiddy ride too.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=DbMC20DEBLQ
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rvdfH1Y1b3Y
http://youtube.com/watch?v=L0EqXPa1buA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNrgTBI815M&mode=related&search=

Balls2euux: your friendly neighbourhood provider of news, entertainment, videos, and three inch dick porn.

also, go see an umbro commercial i stumbled on youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNrgTBI815M&mode=related&search=

how exactly this is supposed to encourage people to buy umbro, I have no bloody idea.

A Copy Of A Copy Of A Copied Post

The Real Reason why wikipedia is the future.

Reference: biq17.blogspot.com

as we all should know, technology is advancing at an alarming rate these days. more and more people are living in comfort and are also exposed to the wonderful realms of the INTERNET. as such, many of these people do in fact have msn accounts - yes, thats right, msn is getting more popular too. people use msn for various reasons - to chat, to advertise their blogs, or to poke fun at people's nicknames.

i think today's msn nicks are pretty cool; below are some...













yeah, we know the resolution sucks so go open it in a new window or squint rly hard at your monitor.



1. nice name, it's good to let everyone know your identity. but whats with the tiny stroke in front of the name? OH! we can take it as...
- a stroke to decorate an otherwise plain, ordinary name (NOTE: from " this " to " 'tHiS ")
- a stroke which would put your msn on top of everyone's lists (eg. in friendster)
amazingly, we would take it both ways - a HIGHLY creative and decorative ornament to achieve one's true goals : to be ON TOP of EVERYONE'S msn contact list. why? we dont know... but its the sad truth.
may we now bring our attention the the short phrase behind the cUte nAmE - do you want everyone to know youre MUGGING? is MUGGING an activity EVERYONE should know when youre gonna engage in? err, we should think not. so LETS GO MUGGING WOOHOO!

2. ahh... no. 2... may we question why is the email address being changed (naruto263 to bi***n263)? oh we get it. cos naruto263 seems like a kiddy chinny teeny weeny name like, per se, FLAMING_CHARIZARD << ROFL. yeah, anyway, bi***n is the coolest name we should all strive towards.

moral of analysis: never name your child charizard cos bi***n is always a better option.

3. AND 4. we can relate this into one point - the very epitomy of an irony and a fine one at that too. we lament, like all humans do. we lament about our height, our hair and how people always seem to suan* us. and we suan them back. again, looking at both phrases in examples 3 and 4 behind the awe-inspiring name, we can unravel tons of things to enable us to truly discover the MEANING of LIFE.
- the obvious is being stated. no money = no sushi. thats one way of looking at it. hear of rhetoric questions? this is a rhetoric statement - stating the obvious.
- perhaps this might be a silent means of poking fun at people - via msn. these people might be from anywhere - movies, dramas, strangers or may we suggest, CLASSMATES.
in relation to the movie (or phrase, whichever since i forgot) killing me softly, which we believe bi***n to have watched intently, the targeted CLASSMATE in this case has surely been silently murdered, dissected and left to rot. we mean his ego. NOW WHAT ARE WE TO DO? we can only...
- pray to anyone that our dear CLASSMATE doesnt go around getting all touchy and bald and complaining that people love to suan him.
- in retrospect, we hope he doesnt shrink or hit back at bi***n by suanning others.
speaking of which, we believe this CLASSMATE will not commit such acts because of EXCEPTIONAL SELF-RESTRAINT.
now divert your attention to the private message... 3.42 - the good or the bad? considering that many people got much less than that, we can conclude that it is a good score. but bi***n isnt happy with it. maybe cos he spent much time MUGGING and still got a bad (depending on perspectives) score.

phail.

*suan (n) = usually a term or pack of words strung together to poke fun at emo kiddies

NOTE: this account has been used as a medium to convey this blog post to the world at large. ALVAN IS NOT THE POSTER OF THIS POST.